Ways To Annoy our favorite POTC Characters
by Afergie1234
Summary: Basically It's what the Title says Ways To Annoy our favorite POTC Characters, hope you guys enjoy. requests are always welcome AND... Thank you to Flygon Pirate it is how u spell it isn't it? for staying with me from the very begining
1. James Norry

Ways to Annoy our Favourite POTC Characters

I had to redo this---  
Ok I know People have been making Fanfics like these. But this time it is different. Each chapter will be about different Characters. So Enjoy, and please Review  
Ps, I DON'T HATE these characters

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James Norrington

1. Tell him he looks like an ice cream

2. Tell him that Elizabeth prefers eunuchs, then ice cream idiots such as himself

Sparrow over for supper at his house

4. Ask if u can put Ice Magic (Chocolate topping for ice cream) on his wig

5. If he asks why, tell him that his wig looks plain

6. Tell him that Elizabeth used him

7. Tell him that Jack would make a good partner for him.

8. Imitate his every move

9. While he is writing letters tell him that he spelt his name wrong

10. Tell him Will Turner is a better man then he is

11. Dye his wig blue

13. If he cries, tell him that he is a mummies boy

14. Call him Norry

15. Tell him the latest wig, and then tear it up in front of him

16. Tell him Beckett has a better Wig then him

17. Tellhim he looks better with the hat on

18. If he asks why tell him that it hides the awful wig

19. Call him Scruffington.

him the navy has no use for drunks

21. Tell him his wig is infected with Nits

22. Throw his new meddle into the sea

23. If he says Jack Sparrow, correct him and yell into his ear saying "Captain"

24. If he finds a wife, tell him that she cheated on him when he was a sea

25. Tell Will to name his pet dog after James (You have to get that)

26. Tell him that Jack Davenport is much hotter then him

27. When he goes to sleep, wake him up 2minutes latter.

28. Sing a pirates life for me, while he is working

29. Tell people embarrassing stories when he was a boy

30. Tell him he still acts like a boy

31. Sit him down and tell him that his father was a pirate & and He has a brother named Jack Sparrow

32. Put itching powder in is underpants,

33. Put Honey in his bed

34. Every three minutes tell him that Elizabeth got married to a Blacksmith

35. If he asks for a toothbrush hand him a hair brush

36. If he asks why you gave him a hairbrush tell him that his teeth are too big

37. Tell him he is related to Jack Sparrow

38. Give him a compass that doesn't work(or point north)

39. Give him a pen and send him to DisneyLand

40. When he goes to bed kiss him on the forehead and say "Goodnight my baby PIRATE"

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Yeh I had to redo this x-(

So what do u think, not so good but at least I'm Writing something


	2. Jack Sparrow Captian

OK, I was going to have this as the last chapter but I couldn't help myself  
Lol plez read & review

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Ways to Annoy Captain Jack Sparrow

1. Tie him to a chair then place a bottle of rum just out of his reach

2. Cut his dreadlocks off, and shave his beard

3. Tell him that Elizabeth blew up the rum AGAIN

4. Sit him down and explain that he has an older brother call Cutler

5. Throw his mothers shrunken head into the sea

6. Tell him that he can't tell any eunuch jokes anymore because Will has a son

7. Send him to military camp

8. Put water into his rum

9. Bust his Rum bottles

10. Tell him Barbossa is a better captain

11. Tell him that the pearl is a dinghy

12. Take his jar of dirt

13. Forget to call him Captain Jack Sparrow

14. Name your pet monkey Jack

15. Take his hat

16. Tell him he smells clean

18. Steal his ship

19. Talk in a made up language so he can't understand you

20. Send his father to his ship

21. Replace his hat with a small one with a huge feather

22. Buy a bag of peanuts and share them with everyone but him

23. Pull a peanut from his hair saying MY PEANUT!!

24. Hand him over to Davy Jones

25. Run him over continuously with a round mill

26. Tell him that in the future pirate are extinct

27. Tell him that no one knows of him in the future

28. Sink his ship

29. Lead his ship to the kraken

30. Take his compass

34. Tell him that his sword is made of wood

35. Tell him "Barbossa Rocks"

36. Poke him with a stick. As if trying to roast him

37. Tell him that Bootstrap was the leader in the mutiny

38. Run up behind him a scream "IT'S THE FLYING DTCHMAN"

39. Tell him and tell the crew that the monkey is in charge

40. Tell him he looks nothing like a pirate

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I'm redoing all the chapters


	3. Davy is in the Navy eating gravy

Hey everyone thx for the reviews, anyway I've noticed that the other chapters had a coppice amount of spelling mistakes, when I get time, I will fix it up.

Davy Is In the Navy Eating Gravy :D 

Ways TO ANNOY Davy Jones

1. Tellhim to stop smoking his pipe, as he already has one black organ

2. Tell him Calypso is hitting on Will

3. Steel his Locket

4. Give him with a picture of the POTC cast ( don't know were that came from) or a picture of you

5. Cut off his tentacles to see what he looks like

6. Ask him if he like calamari

7. Play his locket/organ song all around the ship

8. Play his organ

9. Get rid of his organ and buy him a doll house organ

10. Tell him Jack Sparrow sends his regards

11. Yell out "fish face" in his face

12. Give him a jar of dirt for Christmas

13. Empty a bucket of water him, when it is his "one day on land"

14. Tell him "just incase, MATE"

15. Every five minutes walk up behind him and sing "There's no other monster like Davy Jones" (Just the store David Jones)

16. Ask him if he has ever been to a Fish Market

17. Tell him he looks nothing like his father

18. Scream in Davy's face

19. If he asks you why you did that tell him "Just look in the mirror mate and you'll understand"

20 Buy him if he has baby squid

21. Give him a piece of calamari

22. Give him a tea cup and watch what he does with it

23. Give him a model of himself and see what he does with it

24. Tell him calypso and Jack Married

25. Yell I've got a jar of dirt I his face

26. When he says Jack Sparra(not a mistake), correct him and say "Captain Jack Sparrow

27. Buy him a pet Squid and tell him the cook needs to fry it

28. Ask him what it feels like to be heartless

29. Send him to Japan

30 Ask him if he is a eunuch

31. Tell him Calypso doesn't need him anymore as she has children

32. Fill his buckets with dirt instead of water

36. Tell him that when he kisses Calypso it looks like he is eating a meat pie

34. Tell him Jack is Co-Captain for the week

35. Drink all his rum(It is the most vile drink on earth)

36. Give him a teddy bear with tentacles

37. Tell him if he needs a Razor

38. Give him an Apple to munch one

39. Tell him he'll need teeth to eat it

40. Tell him jack has the heart

41. Ask him if he was in the Navy

42. If he Says yes sing out loud "Davy was in the Navy with lots of Gravy"

Davy Is In the Navy Eating Gravy :D

Well hope you enjoyed, this was very hard to write, I had know idea what to say so most of it was very, very random. If you have any requests, I would be delighted to do it for u


	4. Dear old Hector

Thx to Flygon Pirate, as she has reviewed all my chapters and I'd like to thank her for that. As her request she asked me to annoy Barbossa, which has to be the most challenging so far. Plez be thoughtful and Review, it makes me happy and it makes me update more.

Just so you now I don't have a lot of time to write as I have school and home work. Well enough chatter please enjoy. Requests are welcome

Way's to Annoy Hector Barbossa 

1. Call him Barbara

2. Shoot Him

3. Cut out his Tongue

4. Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue, and trim that scraggly beard.

5. Change HIS apples for bananas

6. he is playing "Bobbing for apples" Replace them for foam ones

7. Tell him that Alexandra (Me) Likes apples more then he does (I eat 3 apples a day, I luv them)

8. Tell him pirates are supposed to have smart intelligent talking parrots, not stupid banana eating monkeys.

9. Lock him and Jack up in the brig together, until them make up (meaning fights)

him Jack's got a bigger hat then him

11. Squirt water in his face so jack the monkey can look at him

12. Tell him he looks like a telly tubie!!(Um which one??) Tinkey Winky of course!!

13. Hide the medallion and play hot and cold with him (hint: never say hot)

14. Give him a rotten apple from your lunch box

15. Tie him to a chair and force him to watch you eat apples

16. Chain him to the mast and throw the apples into the sea

17. Give him an electric toothbrush

18. Take him to the dentist

20. Take his hat away and bye him a worn out small boys hat

Way's to Annoy Hector Barbossa

Sorry it wasn't much like I said it was hard, if I come up with some more I'll add another chapter


	5. Mr Midget aka Beckett

Sorry I haven't updated in so long!!

School has been more hectic then ever, just last Friday a group and I had to cook 900 sausages for the school. So anyway, please keep the reviews up, as it is the only thing that keeps me going. So I got a request from Flygon Pirate, to do Lord Beckett, and guess what its another challenge.

Please be thoughtful and review

Ways to annoy the midget man(aka Lord Beckutt)

1. Call him "Lord Midget"

2. Tell him your 7 year old sister is taller then him

3. Break his tea set

4. it with a plastic one

5. Take of his wig and hold it high

6. Tell him to "Reach for it Midget" while he jumps up and down

7. If he asks you where Jack Sparrow is tell him "Hiding behind your short arse"

8. Poke him constantly

9. Ask him he is a eunuch

10. Tell him your sister is much, much taller then him

11. Tell him that your sister is 3 foot 3

12. Tell him you don't want to hug him

13. If he asks why tell him that you don't like bending over

14. Tell him he and Norrington would make a good couple

15. Tell him his 6 year old grandson is taller then him

Sorry this chapter was so short, but it was so hard to do. For me anyway, So what do you think, tell me by reviewing. ;)

Request for the Next chapter!!


	6. Mr Fangy aka Sao Feng

Well it's been a while since I updated so I thought I should. Anyway, Flygon Pirate asked me to do Sao Feng, so I obliged.

Ways to annoy Fangy

1. Call him fangy

2. Kill his maids

3. Call him baldy

4. Ask him how Sparrow gave him great insult

5. Dye his red cloth blue

6. Put yellow dye in his baths

7. If he ask why did you do that just say, "I didn't, it was already there"

8. Give him a manicure

off his nails

10. Steal his uncles charts

11. Steal his uncle from his tomb

12. Dye his head black

13. If he asks why say, "I was giving u a new tattoo" or "I thought your hair would grow if you paint it"

14. Set him up for anger management classes

15. Tell him that it's Brethren court meetings

16. If he asks why you did it, look at him innocently and say, "I was just trying to be nice"

Mr Fangy

Fangy was not my original idea, it was someone else's.

Anyway, I don't think I did well in this one, it was the most challenging so far.

Anyway requests are always welcome please review!!


	7. Willypoo wants a bathy warthy

Well thx everyone for the reviews. I was going to do bootstrap but he can wait. I decided to do our dear fried Mr Turner for Flygon Pirate(I hope that's right)

Anyway please enjoy and review.

PS:I have got nothing against Will(in fact I luv him lol) or any other characters in this fanfic, this is just a bit of fun so everyone lighten up.

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1. Tell him Jack is a better fencer(sword fighting you know your smarter then that)

2. Tell him that the reason why Elizabeth "Kissed" was because it was a farewell kiss.

3. Tell him Elizabeth loves Jack

4. Tell him Jack loves Elizabeth

5. Tell him Elizabeth loves Norrigtion

6. Tell him Elizabeth loves the chicken dance

7. Teach him how to do the chicken dance and tell him to show Elizabeth

8. Tell him "You fight like a Girl"

9. Tell him he laughs like one too(lol. I think it's quite cute)

10. Scream, 'FIRE AT WILL' Anytime he walks by.(know you have to get that)

11. If you're a girl, come up to him, slap him and say "OMG! You are too ugly to be allowed! Halloween ended like months ago! You can like, take off your mask. You are like, scaring little kids!"(Lol my friend read a fanfic and saw this and told me to write it down,"

12. Ask him what a Eunuch is(you don't want to know, lol I looked it up in the dictionary lol)

13. Ship him to Dysney land and leave him there for the fans

14. Ask him if you can do his hair

15. If he lets you pull and tug at it until it makes him look really girly

him silly names with silly sentence like: Willypoo, want a bathywarthy

17. Keep reminding him about Jack and Lizzie kissing.

18. Tie him to a chair, and make him watch the clip of Jack and Lizzie kissing and replay it for him over and over again.

19. Give him a box of candy hearts. Tell him, "I hope these make up for the one that's no longer down here." Poke his chest where his scar is(my friend told me this one)

20. Lock him in a room with Jack and make him read Jack and Will fan fictions.

21. Tell him that his father enjoyed his whipping

22. Tell him the only reason why his father stood in front of the bosun was because he waned to whip Will

23. KISS HIM (ehhehe)

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ok I'll add more on latter sorry about that


	8. Master Dawf Marty

Well I was going to do Elizabeth but decided to do her latter, sorry Flygon Pirate. But I've been dying to do Marty for ages. This one was very hard. I think this one was my best yet.

Ok plez review, or I may not finish this whole thing. So far more then 1000 visitors have come and haven't reviewed. If I don't get at least 3 reviews I won't continue, (sorry Flygon Pirate) but it will be wasting my school time. Anyway on with the fic.

Ways to Annoy Marty

1. Ask him if he is related to Cutler

2. Ask him if he was born in Munchkin land

3. Buy him a dolls house for his birthday.

4. If he questions why you bought him sush a thing, just shrug your shoulders and say "that's what my 2year old cousin wanted for "her" Birthday"

5. Give him a hair brush for his birthday.

6. Ask him if his mother put a brick on his head to stop him from growing

7. When he grabs a gun, take it off him and say "Marty you naughty little boy, 2 year olds aren't suppose to play with guns, it's very dangerous"

8. Give him a teddy bear when he goes to bed.

9. Mush up his food for his dinner.

10. Put him in a high-chair and feed him like a baby

11. If you smell something bad say "Marty warty did a farty warty)

12. If you smell something worse pick Marty up and say "Marty Warty did a poo in his nappy wappy

13. Give him in baby clothes

14. If he complains stick a dummy in his mouth

15. Sing nursery rimes when he goes to bed.

16. Show the crew photos when he was a baby

17. Say to the crew "He hasn't changed much"

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THIS CHARICTER!!

Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this remember to review.


	9. Elizabeth the Bird

OK School has been so hectic I haven't updated in months. Anyway, This is Elizabeth, Flygon Pirate had requested this ages ago and I haven't done it yet so hear we go.

Also has anyone noticed that my other chapters have the 1sr word missing in each sentence 

Btw this was bloody hard.

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Elizabeth Swann= Lizzie Bird

1. Sit her down and read out slash fan fictions on Will and Jack

2. Get Tia Dalma/Calypso to flirt With Will

3. When it's her Birthday send her a card and write in it and say "Your fathers Dead hahaha" (that's mean)

4. Tell her Will drunk Five bottles of rum

5. Sail her to an Island and give her a bottle of rum, see what she does with it

6. For valentines day give her a T-shirt saying "I 3 Jack"

7. Tell her Will is her brother

8. Tell her Will likes tight corsets on her

9. Tie Will to the mast and kiss him

10. Tie her to a chair and keep playing the scene were Will is killed

11. Remind her continuously that she kissed and killed Jack Sparrow, along with cheating on Will

12. Give Norry a Ring to propose to her

13. Tell her woman can't be Pirates

14. Circle around her a Sing, "HO YO HO YO, A PIRATES LIFE IS FOR PIRATES"

15. If she says stop it do, and ask…"Who taught you the song?" if she replies that it was her mother, say "well she's dead, that means its not quite accurate"Then… start singing, "HO YO HO YO A PIRATES LIFE IS FOR PIRATES

16. If she tells you to please stop singing the song say ok and start singing "Jack and Elizabeth Sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G, 1st comes love then comes Marriage, then comes Monkey Jack Sitting in a longboat.

17. If she glares at you, shrug your shoulders and say "You said stop singing that song, you never said to stop singing"

18. Whip Will in front of her

19. Tell her that Jack made Will a Eunuch

20. Tell Barbossa that she didn't Kiss Jack Sparrow, but his Monkey Jack!!!

21. Lock her in the brig with Will Turner fan girls, and see what they do to her

22. Ship her to Disneyland giver her a pen leave her and see what happens next

23. Tell her Will made Love with Eva Green(that's true but it was Orlando hehehe)

24. Tell Will she kissed James Norry while they were engaged  
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Well that was hard. Hope you guys Enjoyed it. It wasn't the best but oh well…  
Requests are Welcome


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